You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
