If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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