It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
