there were more penises there than on chat roulette
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
