i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
