I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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