dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
