Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
