Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
