When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
