ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
