he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
