so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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