Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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