my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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