was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
