I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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