Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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