Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
