are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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