she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
