I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
