2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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