You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize