ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
That accounts for only three of the penises
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
