my mouth tastes like poor choices
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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