im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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