Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
