wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
