wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
