She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
