I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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