i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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