So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
