god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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