im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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