I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
