Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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