we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
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