Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
