Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
