i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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