Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We had sex on a dog bed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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