from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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