hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
