You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
