Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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