You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He passed out mid-signature
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
