rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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