my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
