You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
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