i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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