I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
