just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
