He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
