my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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