Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
