hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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