I think I just saw someone hide a body.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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