Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
