im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
