ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
