He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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