Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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