I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
When are your genitals available?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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