it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
